This just popped up into my head. I wanted to start a business for the longest time. When I get back to Georgia next year, I thought about several things I could do. Then it hit me. I know for a fact I will be coming back with a lot of money, why not invest it into something fun. Yeah I know since the economy here is in a bad shape and the job market is low and since I hate being owned by both the government AND corporate America, I thought I might as well make my first job enjoyable. That's right everyone, Kyll's going to be her own boss. With what? Baseball.. Softball.. Arcade.. Food.. Uniform..

I'm thinking about starting a batting cage/ arcade/ diner/ baseball and softball store. I thought it would be a pretty neat idea, considering I've only seen batting cages in places like Monkey Joes and what not. I wanted something that would be fun. Hosting lock ins would be fun too. Heh, it would be nice to give out home run stuff to since there would be a thing that you have to hit for home runs. For realz. I would deffinetely bring a lot to the job market considering I would have to hire people to help out. Of course I would love to turn it into a family business. I guess I'm looking at it too positively.

So I get this e-mail from a major guys. A MAJOR. For those of you reading this and keeping up with me. I have recieved the oppertunity of a life time in my army career. That's right, I'm not going anywhere... FOR NOW.

Maj. Weir of the US Army Reserve Center Public Affairs Department sent me an e-mail asking if I was interested in leaving later than when I wanted to leave. I was kind of leary. HOWEVER. I decided to hear him out. He told me that my job in the army is able to be switched over the Public Affairs. PUBLIC AFFAIRS!! Something I've always wanted to do ever since I joined the army. I was OH SO STOKED! He said that they needed to set up a communication base in Baghdad for putting in 20 minute news feeds. I was OH SO STOKED! I called mom up immediately to see if I could get the okay for it. She was... OH SO STOKED. To hear the news. Dad was... OH SO STOKED hear it too.

So I get the e-mail to start up the paper work to change to the unit that's EVEN FURTHER away from my normal traveling distance. But I'm OH SO STOKED to go with this change of plans!!!!

Kolbie Cheese OUT!

So I'm pretty pissed... The drama lamas have been rampaging the lands of the Kolbsters. =_=; So I take my anger out on what? Perfect World. It feels nice killing monsters. Wish I could do it for real though.

So... I finally got over the whole craving thing. thank god... ugh.. But I'm thinkin... I want something nice. A nice out fit to go out in. Maybe some arm warmers and a skirtzy like outfit.. Maybe some skinny jeans and a nice black turtle neckish shirt. OOOH I could get some of the material and design it for grandma and we can make it together. XD

I think I'm going to put a sarcastic remark in my subject every time I post one up.

Anyway I will be cleaning out my journal. It seems that I have been put in another sticky situation with someone's marital problems. You know there are several things I have learned in life.

1. It takes two to tango.
2. The military is not for hooking up with people. It's not worth the trouble if the both of you are in it.
3. Sex is awesome. Too bad I don't get enough of it.
4. You can't hook up with a guy in an IHOP.
5. Life sucks when you're 18-20 sorry it's not the best years of your life when you can't go to public bars.
6. Don't ride on tricycles when you're WAY too tall for them.
7. Death makes the human mind numb to everything and causes everyone to be that "Marlboro Man". We all want to ride away into that sunset.
8. When you hear a catchy tune, you can't help but put it on repeat on your computer.
9. People are naturally insane.
10. We all tend to get into problems and we make mountains out of ant hills.
11. We're all naturally needy.
12. No one gets a broken heart. Just a stab in the back.
13. Roommates SUCK.
14. Worst case scenario always works.


Anymore suggestions?

Meh I think I should get back into Blogging here. I may have to worry about some rants coming up though.... Note to self... can't do anymore relationships after this one...

So I'm feeling a tad depressed I thought I'd write a small note to the person who caused it. I never had to deal with this before... Now I just feel..... small. I mean the note turened out to be a bit wrong. I can't believe these feelings were still in me.

You know you really amaze me. I never thought that I was going to feel this way in my entire life. I am still deeply hurt by you. You put so many things in my mind and then you crush me. I wanted to be around you every minute of the day. You had a ton in common with me. From Across the Universe to how our Zodiacs matched completely. Right now, I'm twisted, confused and lost. I don't even know what I want. Every word you spoke to me I breathed in and those words became a part of my blood. They infused me with a new hope and made my own views of myself so positive. Things began to gradually drop to all sorts of lows. Every time I walk in my room I want to scream, but if I do, I have people asking me whats wrong. I've wanted to just ignore the problem, but there's just no ignoring it. If feels like a huge elephant is in the room and the only thing hiding it is a sheet. I feel awful, completely and utterly lost... and gone. My heat beats, but every sweet nothing you gave me is gone. I tell my self millions of times you were just after something else, but you reeled me in and held my spirites in your comfort zone which was so much higher than mine. You showed me that it tends to be fun to take chances. I hope you know, I haven't taken chances since March. I haven't done anything at all. That date I was supposed to go on, stood the guy up.

oy...

bad cadence


Just click on it to go to the site it was put up on. ANYWAY let me tell you what. If any of my friends believe that all our tax money is being wasted on a stupid cadence, I will have a heart attack. That's our fun right there. XD If you go through basic training for ANY military you're going to have to sing a cadence with a drill sergeant, OC, or sergeant. It's part of Esprit d'Corps.

You learn team work through cadences. This is just part of who we are as a military. We know it's not all fun and games but it's so fun to do some silly things. Embarassment is not part of a NCO's vocabulary. Commissioned Officers on the other hand.... >_> oy I guess I still don't know what I want.

I love singing out cadences while marching and running.

I am passionate about my career. I have nothing to worry about if I have a career that I love. That's why I have decided to speak with my recruiter about going to Oregon and starting over as Active Duty. Not that I don't want to go to college. It's just life here is very stressful. I have so many places I want to see. I'd put down the following for my dream sheet and most of the time you get it too. =P

Oregon
Washington
Nevada
Florida
and for a country I'd put down Germany. XD

Reason I chose Oregon was because I love mountains and it's got trees. XD It's a beautiful state and I want to go back to it and live there. I've always wanted to live in Oregon.

So here I am. Writing a blog on my thoughts of commitment. I give each and everyone of you a cookie for taking into the wonderfulness of it.

Commitment is great, I honestly believe it will be a good thing that happens to someone, but it just so happens to be not for me. I thought about it for a long LONG time. I'm not a commited type of person. It has taken a relationship that could've been the best but I was too young to tell, a relationship that just wasn't meant to be, a relationship that was almost as real as the space between me and my door to "Trallis", and a relationship that was just too "dull" to figure out that I really don't need a commitment.

Commitment can be compared to almost everything. I can compare it to a bill collector. That's just about the bad side of it. Say you sign up for a credit card (or get married) and you forgot to pay the bill(did something stupid in your relationship). Well then you have the bill collectors calling your house and you're the one that is looking like an idiot. So sometimes it seems that this could've been avoided if you had never signed the paper at all, but it could've been solved if you had just paid the damn thing in the first place.

Now that I think about it. I've got three commitments I keep to myself.

1. I'm commited to my family and friends.
I never leave anyone of them behind and if I haven't talked to you I'm very sorry about that, I just have a couple of things on my mind.

2. I'm commited to the Army.
I signed my life so I'm military. Therefore by law I'm commited to the army.

3. I'm commited to myself and my values.
Nothing can stop me from achieving what I want that's best for me.

So those are the top three commitments I have in mind. Now love on the other hand. I'm not committed to anyone. 1. I can't be. I just have too much to do right now. 2. I want to be free of that problem at the moment. 3. This commitment just accidentally happens to me (refer to 3 year long relationship that had me go almost insane.)

Another view...

I just happen to scare almost every guy away so I can't get something I want and haven't had for a good 9 months. Thanks a lot guys. =_=;

Sometimes I just want to say fuck it and go active duty and send my ass somewhere else I can't stand it here anymore. I need to get out and see more than Columbus, Atlanta, and Phenix City.

Somebody help please.

I'm this close to breaking down over a fucking blog how stupid is that?

College-
I know I need it, but I'm really wishing I had just signed up for the fucking green to gold program.... I can see Chris Wistock signing up for that program. >_> Then again I'd rather have him as my First Sergeant. XD So I'm reeeeal close to get into CSU. Just gotta renew my tag.

Insert object into hole... turn it on... O_o;

I've been on a sort of internet benge. I can't believe last drill I really can't. Attn Krin... encouragement is needed bro. XD

So I go to drill this weekend after working with the Master Sergeant the entire week. One of the squad leader assistants pulls me aside and tells me he's putting in a letter of recommendation for me to get up to Specialist instead of PFC(Private First Class). I couldn't believe my ears. This was one of my goals. Go from E-3 to E-4 before I turned 20 this year. O.o I didn't think it was going to come true.

The only problem with it not coming true is the fact that I can't pass the running and sit ups part in my pt test.

You gotta make it hurt to make it work. So I'm working real hard on this. I will try to update as much as I can. I'm very sorry but I really need that extra 75 worth of pay. XD Plus they told me they are putting me through WLC (Warrior Leadership Course). I was shocked, I mean me... Almost a sergeant? WTF? XD

Anyway... After hearing that from the Sergeant who pulled me aside I nodded and said I'll try my hardest... He told me that I needed something to lean back on if I didn't like being a cadet. O_O

At the end of the night I walked out and a cadet told me what was going on. He told me the ENTIRE chain of command heard about how hard I work and that it doesn't go unnoticed. The fact that I keep a good heart and head on my shoulders always volunteering and helping those in need out in the company as well as the battalion. I was almost in tears when I heard that from my best friend in the unit. I wanted to just cry but I kept my composure and stopped at a gas station and cried there.

So I'm going to definitely work on this test to make my goal come true. XD So I'll try to update when I can. I'm sorry I'm going to be a bit slow. >_

I don't know why but I really need to get out of here again. XD Good thing I'm going to Annistan AL 2-4 of November. =_=; for qualification...

Sooo... *waves hands back and forth* Let's start from the beginning. So far this year I have gone through two guys, which is a record for me. First time in forever I've dated someone. I feel like a little high schooler again posting this up. =_=;

Guy #1 The Complete Ass/ The Immature One- dated him for ever fell in love with him. Then fell in total hate with him too. Yes guys this is Mark I'm speaking of. I'm pissed at him because he pulled out a stupid card and he succeeded in making me pissed off. Why? He pulled out "Let's get my easily jealous ex-girlfriend to get jealous card" out on me. I don't speak to vindictive people that do that. =_=; So yeah I'm through with him. burned everything he gave me... except for the dvd's got a good 20.00 out of a pawn shop for those. My grand father walked in on me ripping the stuffing entrails of that tiger I got from him. Over him... burned those bridges... don't plan on rebuilding them.

Guy #2 The Partial Ass/ The Attention Whore- dated him for like three months. I had to go because he kept putting me down by saying he was not getting enough attention from me. >.> Honestly people. He was really awesome to my dad. My dad liked him a lot. But jesus was he high maintenance. When we hung out with his friends, he would want me all over him. I'm not that kind of girl bub. I never talk to him... ever even though he's a "brother" now. Sorry it's just kind of creepy to dub him a brother after all the crap I had to put up with.

I just thought I'd post those up because I'm still pissed at them. *shrugs* Anyway I'm going out to Tuscaloosa, AL October 26th to see an old friend of mine. He well.. He and I go back a little. He was supposed to be engaged to this really cute girl. Showed me pictures too. Turns out that she declined him on the Christmas he was in Alabama. When he came back he had pictures and everything developed. I was like "How awesome! That's great!" I was dating Mark at the time. I would talk about Mark all the time to him as he would bring up his fiancee he supposedly had.

Anyway the guy from Alabama staged everything. He had his sister take the pictures with him and his sister was with him on Family Day as well. I complemented her and I felt a bit hurt at the time. He was really an awesome guy. Attractive, had an awesome voice, and he was always there when I needed help with my qualification. ANYWAY I get a call from him... He wanted to go out on a date with me. I thought you know might as well. I just don't know. I mean I trust him completely since him and my other friend were my battle buddies through the whole time. He's seen every side of me and he doesn't want to leave. He just staged everything because of the immature guys in my platoon. I was really surprised.

Now here's the question should I believe him? Or should I cancel. =_=;

So Gabby and I sat online making titties

[22:00] YAGMCB sound gal: ( . ) ( . )
[22:00] YAGMCB sound gal: ( o ) ( o )
[22:00] CheriLipz0540: ( o ) ( o )
[22:00] YAGMCB sound gal: (     .     ) (     .     )
[22:01] YAGMCB sound gal: ( v ) ( v )
[22:01] CheriLipz0540: (  O  )  (  O  )  (  v  )  (  v  )
[22:01] CheriLipz0540: Big titties

ANYWAY I got a job at TSYS

TSYS MUTHAH FUCKAH!!

Noa... The awesomest character in Kiba ^_^. the first 13 eps are miiiine.

I gotta get outta this house. That's why I'm getting a job. I can't just sit around and wait I'm afraid I'm going to do something rash (cutting my hair, throwing things around and breaking something, etc.). I just want to scream right now *does so*.  It doesn't help you know. I still feel like I'm going to throw up. I hold my head low and it doesn't work. Forgetting about the BEST four years sucks. I don't actually WANT to forget them. I just want to punch the crap out of something. So I got a journal to write in when I feel down. I actually feel like that song "Paper Heart" by All American Rejects. What am I going to do when I can't do anything to keep going huh? I spent the last three days crying my eyes out. This isn't me. You know? I just can't stand this. I'm so unstable right now. I want to punch something so bad right now.

Do I deserve pity? No I brought this all onto myself. It really sucks, but I gotta deal with the people who just want to kick me when I'm down. I just can't stand that bullshit and people really do understand that. I'm not even looking at the screen when I type these words. Why? Because I'm typing what I feel and what I truly am feeling right now. I just want to punch soemthing. Why did I even think that life without some people would be better? I don't know but I'm going to ride the tide for a longer period of time.